Wednesday, January 29, 2014

How do you start the Conversation?

Do you start with business, small talk or comment on the weather?  What about the news?   What is your opening line and how do you move the conversation the direction you want it to go?

Once the "hello's" and "how are you/how's it going" are out of the way, it's time to read the other(s) to see where they would like to go with the discussion.   The blurt of last night' sporting event or something personal leads to a number of conversations back and forth.   This is good to form a good relationship, to be open and personal, however, at what point do we move to the topic at hand?

It is like this blog.   I keep wanting to share how to start the conversation, however, all these good thoughts want to be shared first.   Does this help understand better what I am trying to demonstrate?

Has anyone mentioned how cold or how much snow we have?   Yes it certainly is cold and yes lots of snow.   Catch myself talking about this as well.   Sometimes the response I give is "Well you know it is January in Canada" implying are we surprised?   Yes it is bitterly cold and makes for a good conversation.

So who is going to move to the business topic:  you or them?

We could go on like this and talk about many random topics, keep the personal anecdotes going, learn a little more about each other.  At times too much is shared or other times a bad attempt at a joke stops the conversation.

At some point, if no one has jumped in, there is the awkward silence.   Now what?

Go for it.

"Thanks for sharing and let's move to this week' topic:   how do you start the conversation?"

Most of the time, we enjoy the small talk and move into the business conversation by being genuine and making it natural change of topic.  The key is finding the right balance before jumping into the task at hand.

How do you start the Conversation?

2 comments:

  1. Getting started with conversation is one of those skill sets that are easy for me. I start off with either a personal comment about the person or their business. Often a hearty hello and a hand shake starts me off.

    I guide the conversation by asking questions that always lead me to what that person does for a living. Then, I ask a specific question about that profession: "In my Insurance and Investments business the regulatory controls are always changing, in your business what types of new regulatory controls are comming down the pike?"

    I always want to learn more. I always want to gain more intelligence. That leads me to a deeper conversation which I can then steer to a deeper plain and ask a question like: "with such a stressfull career, what do you like to do to get away from it all, any hobbies?"

    When I get an answer about hobbies, I then know something about that person and it gives me the opportunity to surprise them after the initial meeting with a magazine or an article about that specific hobby: "Hey Joe, it was great to meet you the other day. I found this topic or magazine about your hobby and wanted to make sure you had this. Looking forward to seeing you again. If I can help in any way with anything Insurance, Mortgage or Investments based do not hesitate to give me a call."

    It is easy for me to develop conversation. The issue in my business is finding the like minded people who value my time and knowledge. In the insurance business people will always want to save $20 on their car insurance per year but they finance their homes at 3.69% when they could have financed it at 3.39%. .3% on a 300K home is more than $900 per year in savings.

    As well, people are constantly being sold things they do not understand, yet will not allow me to look at to help them understand. A PRIME insurance company here in Windsor sells policies that are initially inexpensive but as you age, morph into a YEARLY increase in the cost of insurance. People know they have these policies but they were sold to them by a brother or a cousin that is no longer in the business.

    People are constantly sold mortgage life insurance. It is the worst product on the market, but it is sold in droves. There is all kinds of data a person can access about the product and how bad it is but they buy it over and over again. They constantly make the same silly financial decision and admit failure. I just want to guide them and show them how over time their own life insurance policy will be 10,000 or $20,000 cheaper than mortgage life insurance. I had a client 63 that was paying $742 per month for the coverage on the mortgage. Their cost of real life insurance? $314 per month.

    I also have a hard time trying to explain to people that having a RSP when they have a secure pension is not the best way to go. A Tax Free Retirement Savings Account is always better for them in the long run. It is invested the same way as a RSP but it provides tax free income at the end of their working career and it INCREASES their old age pension because they do not have RSP income to claw back the OAS.

    My challenges are how do I let people know the stories and the terrible anguish I deal with and fix every day in my professional practice. Why is it that they are so willing to save $20 on their car insurance but they will not reduce the financing cost on their home, save $10,000 with life insurance rather than mortgage insurance, Avoid the claw-back on RSP's... on and on.

    How do I take this knowledge and put it in a place where people can have a better appreciation of what I do so that I can help more people. By helping people, I help my family.

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  2. Thanks Brian for sharing your strategy and challenges when starting the conversation

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